the happiest of birthdays for the happiest of men

when i think of you, i think of ezra in the bible and the amount of joy he exuded.

you are laughter personified. you can make the darkest moments, the brightest. you always have a joke. and never fear judgement of your silliness. all of those qualities are Christ in you. along with your steadfast leadership, unwavering work ethic, and loving demeanor. 

i have never encountered anyone who has made me feel more loved and understood. you are always in my corner. even if it's the wrong place to be. 

you can find a way to enjoy any circumstance, which is the quality i most envy about you. you are the preferred parent ;) which i completely understand.

i fall more madly in love with you every day. you keep me safe, encouraged, and happy. i am most myself whenever you're around. your conversation and company is by far my favorite of all. getting to do life with you is my most treasured aspect of life. i love the lives we've created, and the life we have together. awfully simple, awfully happy.

happy birthday to the love of my life. 31 never looked this hot!

i love you forever, puppin.

to the girl with the sparkly heart

i learned three years ago what it was like for your heart to leave your body. to hold something so dear to you, just loosely enough to carry the heaviest fear i've known. 

your entrance into the world was dramatic enough to set the tone for your bigger than life personality. i will never ever forget the feeling of holding for the first time, and then when i got to hold you again fresh out of the NICU. you are one of my greatest accomplishments. your smile, your laugh, your squeaky little voice lights up any room. your love for entertaining keeps me laughing. there is never a quiet moment with you around. i love how you tell me stories about everything, the way you can imagine anything, and how you radiate joy on a daily basis. you make little things, big things. in good and bad ways ;). you have changed me for the better. i pray you always feel safe, understood, and loved. i pray you do huge things for Jesus and make His name known. thank you for being the most cooperative "guinea pig" and for showing me grace in some ugly moments. you are everything beautiful, bright, sweet, and smart. i am proud to be your mommy. i love you forever, emmy lou. 

emmalynne joy ladd turned THREE yesterday. and of course our internet wasn't working. but coincidentally less blogging equals more time with my little people. so boom.

her party was on sunday with a few little friends, and all she wanted yesterday was to go to the "jump place", get a blue icee, and go to chick fil a. so we made it happen.

saw this popsicle garland on pinterest. it would have turned out perfectly had it stuck better to the brick. oh well, not quite a pinterest fail.

hattie went for a little dip ;)

 

we got emma a scooter for her birthday. although she was kind of more excited about the "scooter clothes" as she calls them, she's had so much fun learning to ride it!

i feel kinda sad to admit this might be our first family of five photo since hattie's been born?

a slow saturday

well today has been awfully lazy for me and the littles.
as i'm typing this wyatt is trying his best to somehow fit his batman t shirt over my laptop screen, then he proceeds to giggle himself into a fit. oh gracious this boy is a big ol' mess.

i'm going to keep it short and sweet with some pictures i got with my actual camera for once! although i'm way out of practice and this house is lacking severely in natural light, i can't help but find these so so sweet. i guess i see them through my mama rose-colored glasses.

this sums them all up perfectly in this season. hattie being loved on a little too strong by wyatt, and emma in the middle trying to regulate the situation

we got this boy some new shoes and he is so obsessed with them! a man after my own heart ;)

hope everyone's weekend is going fabulously!

a week defeated

let me tell you a secret. i have lived in sin this week.
got your attention, huh?

yes i know it is only wednesday.

let me elaborate.

all day long, every day this week (so far), i have felt defeated. from the time i woke up, to the time i finally fall asleep, i have let satan con me into believing that i am failing my children as a mother, and my husband as a wife. i have let him convince me that my worth is in clean, put away laundry, and in a fit-less happy attitude of my toddlers. but that is a lie.

but that's the thing about defeat, and more so, the thing about sin. you let yourself believe it because of what you feel. and satan uses those tiny feelings/insecurities/worries and blows them up on the big screen of your mind to rob you of all the promises of God that you know to be true. because satan knows that i am weak. but I know that when i am weak, HE is strong. my God is so strong and so mighty, whom shall i fear? and in my case this weak, what shall i fear?

i have this big issue with failure. if i don't get something right on the first try, i give in to defeat and let it swallow me up its tsunami of solitude. it isolates me to where i feel like i'm ate up in failure and i should quit and try something else. but the word of my almighty God tells me that i am MORE than a conqueror through Christ. that i am able to do abundantly more through Christ. so i lay it down....and rest. yes, rest. i rest in my piles of clean laundry that sit in their hamper begging to be put up, i rest in my patience while my kids fight over the same toy for the millionth time. because if i am not letting jesus shine out of me, then i am letting satan win.

i guess i am writing all of this to say, that parenting is capital H-Hard. i could list the dramatics all day long, but that is not the point. the point is EVERYTHING is hard. life is hard, because it is in this world. and the world fights God so hard. even knowing jesus, life is hard. but it's because of jesus, and what he did for me, that i can get through it. that i can make jokes to my husband about our small army of tiny people who won us over with their cuteness and sneak to take over us when they smell weakness ;). anything and everything that is good in me is Christ. so, in confidence i can say, that satan might have duped me monday through half of wednesday. but no longer will he get me. i am more than a conqueror. God does not make mistakes, he has equipped me to mother my children, to be blake's wife. i have to be willing to set aside my pride, my will, to lay at his feet and honestly admit my struggles.

there will always be a to-do list. kids will always cry. they have no other ways of expressing negative emotion. it will be okay.

maybe you needed this, too. or maybe you quit reading 5 sentences in because i bore you with my run-on sentences. either way, God is still good. and there is ALWAYS a quiet closet to hide in somewhere around here ;)

2 months!

My Hattie girl turned 2 months on Saturday! If I could have a million more babies like Hattie, I probably would. But since my other babies are now grouchy toddlers..that idea holds no validity. She is so sweet, like all the time. She loves snuggles and to watch her big sister and brother. She sleeps basically through the night, only waking up between 5-6 to eat and then goes back to sleep. She is mostly so content, but I'm afraid we might be dealing with some silent reflux? 

It's so funny to see how attached the kids are to her already. They always want to look at her and kiss her. Wyatt has really surprised me with his affections. He's borderline obsessed. Always wants to sit with her, kiss her, hold her, lay her in his bed. If he gets upset, he holds out his arms and says "Hattie!" And we pretend like he's holding her. It somehow makes everything better to him. I think it's so precious. We're still working on his idea of gentle though. He tries, but it's basically like the hulk trying to pet a butterfly. They've caught on to calling her Hattie bear and it is the cutest thing ever.

Hattie Anne, you are a sweet blessing. I am so proud to be your mama. We all fight over who gets to hold you. And I'm glad I'm the one who feeds you because it means I get the most time with you ;)

You are a joy of a baby! So beautiful and bright. I want to keep you a baby forever. But since that has yet to work for me, I'll enjoy all the stages you bring.

I love you forever,

Mama

Flashback Friday

apparently this is a "thing". and since i didn't get to post these earlier, because of life and stuff, i'm going to post them now!

around week 34 of my pregnancy, we had some family pictures/maternity pictures done by my wonderful friend kim rain. she's done several sessions for us now, and i am yet again blown away. she's unbelievably easy to work with, super talented, and does a perfect job at capturing us at our comfortable best. i'm not one to love having my picture taken, but she always makes it the best experience. i just love her.

here are some of my faves!

can't wait to have some fall ones done now that hattie is here!