It's been on my mind a lot lately so I thought I'd get it out here. My kids are now 5,4, and almost 3. We are in daily rhythms of school and sports and schedules. But once upon a time, not too long ago, I was posting here about the difficulty of motherhood. Feeling like I was constantly disciplining, drowning in diapers, fighting kids to nap. I now miss those days of waking up whenever, making our own schedules all day. I asked God to feel near so much then, when I finally realized He was, I settled into contentment. I bought the lie that contentment had to equal complacency.
I've been home with these littles for 5 years now, and a lot of changes have happened. Most of the days used to be hard, but I pressed in hard to Jesus and scripture. Today I find myself more at peace and comfortable in my role as a stay at home mom. I used to beg God to give me any job and I would do it for His glory, and I saw His lack of provision in that area as Him not hearing me - or me not being good enough. But now I know and feel confident that THIS is where He's wanted me all along. Surrendered, available, teachable. My kids don't seem near as stressful as they used to (side eye goes to Hattie Badger) and that may be because they aren't babies anymore, but I choose to think it's because I no longer walk reluctantly into the role God put me in every single day.
I hear conversations and read posts from women who beg God for clarity, purpose, vision. I used to be that woman and some days I still am! There's nothing wrong with asking God to breathe life to your dreams, because He gets that glory. But what if we just hit pause? What if we woke up each day and said, "Ok God. You've put me here, show me what Your will is today, tomorrow, as long as you have me in this season. Just help me keep my eyes open to what You're doing with where I am right now." We could stop wishing to start a new season where we're doing more of what we want, and instead be with Jesus where He has put us (intentionally) today.
So whether you're waiting for that perfect job, perfect calling on your life, perfect day with your kids, just remember that God has ordained all of us as His followers to love him and his people. That's the calling of every single person who has the salvation of Jesus. That's the main calling. That's freedom.