Be where you are

I've been so super anxious to meet this baby, anticipating labor, etc. I've been praying so hard about it, about what I want. And tonight God has put me exactly where I've needed to be. Back in my spot of thankfulness.

Blake and I have had so much good quality time with the kids lately. Spending personal time with them, doing special activities with them, just plain getting to be present with them. Tonight we had a family date, just the four of us, to go see rio 2. Blake picked up chick fil a and we headed to the movie. Wyatt did much better than expected, and Emma of course had a blast. While laying in bed tonight, Blake and I were talking and it hit me. I've been so wrapped up in getting this baby here my way, that I may have not been cherishing the moments we have left as a family of 4. I have enjoyed every pregnancy, every baby, found happiness in each season. And now as our chapter of 4 bears is closing up and morphing into 5 of us, I am so so so thankful for the last memories we've made. 

I love how God uses me as a mama and as a wife. But I love it even more when he uses me as just me, as His, a woman choosing Him each day. Even when I fail, He gives me more chances. I'm making it a purpose to practice giving my babies more grace. I want them to know that grace only comes from Jesus living in me. 

This has been such a sweet season, and I'm excited to embark on the next one. But I only have a few days left of being a mama of 2 and I want to be as present and intentional as I can. I sure do love getting to be home with Emma and Wyatt, and I praise God for being faithful at all times.

"My heart is confident in you, oh God. No wonder I can sing your praises with all my heart!" Psalm 108:1

happy birthday to rhett!

a few weeks ago we visited my sister and her little fam in north carolina! it was kind of a whirlwind of a trip considering we were only there for a long weekend. my mom and i made the trip up with kids on a thursday afternoon, and surprisingly only stopped twice! our kids are pretty good travelers. blake and i joke that we've kind of forced them to be since we like to go so much. but i do believe if you want your kids to do well in situations that aren't a part of their daily routines, you have to be flexible. and we tend to not stress out so much about schedules and routines over here...for the most part.

anyways, i've made this trip to north carolina the first weekend of may for 3 years now! the first time was when my nephew was born, and i haven't missed a birthday yet! i feel pretty blessed with the fact that even though my sister lives so far away from us, that we still make our kids' relationships a priority. emma and rhett get closer as they get older and it makes me so happy! wyatt will join in on their love fest soon enough :)

we crammed rhett's birthday weekend full! even a quick visit to the beach! emma LOVED everything about the beach and the ocean. huge improvement from last year when she was pretty hesitant. her confidence makes me so proud! wyatt on the other hand has some progress to make...ha! he was very unenthused over the whole thing. and was not crazy about the cold water. i'm sure all that will change soon enough! all in all, it was a great time!

The funny thing about motherhood

Being a mama is a very funny thing. It's never getting to "clock out", it's having to be the bad guy with your child's favorite word "no", it's lugging all of your kids to the bathroom with you, it's being awake at hours of the night that no one wants to see. It's painful, and stressful, and often overwhelming with the prayer of "God please don't let me mess this up". But mainly, it's never being alone. It's their tiny slobbery kisses from dirty faces smiling. It's hearing "mommy I love you." Or them telling you you're they're best girl. It's always always always being in their corner, and catching them no matter what. It's those quiet moments in the night rocking, nursing, humming because they're sick or scared or just because they want you. It's the kiss after every scraped knee, every bonked head, every spanking (yes my babies get spanked ;) ) followed not long after with an "I love you". Motherhood is a funny thing. It's not for the faint of heart. And I am so blessed, and praise God every day for trusting me with these tiny people. 

The overwhelming prayer on my heart today has been for the women who aren't technically mamas just yet. The ones who desire everything I just wrote about. Who would give their eyes just to snuggle a screaming baby at 3 in the morning. My prayers today are for you. That while my words may not help, you would know that your desires are God given and that won't return void. Time often feels like the enemy, but it's precious all the same. So happy Mother's Day to the not-yet mamas. I believe it in my bones that your day is coming and it will be so so sweet. 

Happy Mother's Day! What a beautiful day it is!!