At the beginning of this year, I prayed for a purpose. Not anything super specific, but just that I would witness God move big, so big that I would know that it could only be Him. And also, I prayed for freedom.
God has done both. And it's July.
I'll wait on telling about the big things, because what I really want to talk about is freedom. God has pressed into me hard this year to abide. Abide in HIM because without Him, nothing happens. Lives don't get changed, roots don't grow deeper, vines don't bear fruits of the Holy Spirit. John 15:2 says "He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit, he prunes so that it will be more fruitful". And lately, I have found such freedom in that.
I've been doing Jess Connolly's Naptime Diaries, Abide, study. And i jotted something down last week that has been sinking in deeper and deeper. It is absolutely not about us, or what we'll gain, or what we'll become. It's about God and the characteristics He portrays. To me, that speaks loads into my issues with freedom. Jesus does not say try harder. He simply says, rest here. I have laid down my struggles before The Lord, my body insecurities, my anxiety over persecution and failure and fear, my need to be heard, all of that has bound me in my walk with Christ. Because we all tend to think we have to try harder. Be more kind, be more patient with our children, be more loving towards our husbands, be more gentle. And the freedom in Jesus and salvation is, we don't produce those fruit! We are just called to bear it and be the branches. By staying deep in God's word, we rest. Rest in knowing we don't have to have it all together. We don't have to be more. We can't. The world cannot make you more patient, or a better person. There is so much peace in who I am right now because Jesus has made my yoke so light.
I, by nature, am a wary person. I don't usually just jump hard into things. But lately, I've felt God calling me to surrender. Just a gentle whisper that says "jump! I got you!" But I'm like, God…You know I like to wade out. Not jump. So I have cannonballed into freedom. Not caring what it looks like to other people. Freedom to be who God has called me to be, and what God has called me to do. I got made fun of recently because I sort of, kind of, want a van. Y'all. I'm 24. With 3 kids. And I want a van. But I don't care! It is what it is ;) haterz gonna hate. I really enjoy working out. And I wish I could make it more of a priority, but I go when I can and that's a couple times a week. I look nothing like the girls I work out with AND THAT IS OKAY. I struggled for a little while because I would compare myself and that is such a slippery slope. So I got real with God and asked Him to speak purpose into me. To free my heart in ways I haven't even thought of. And He sure enough did.
After a season of hardship in my heart, it feels so beautiful to be at rest. To know it's not my struggle. to be able to say YES GOD. And Him take care.
What's holding you back from freedom in Christ? Let us not be afraid to get real with God. Because He is big enough to handle our breakdowns. And sure enough is the only one ho can put us back together.