I've had the privilege of going through Angie Smith's bible study Seamless with The Gather Project's Grow girls. So far we're sifting through the Old Testament and it's kind of blowing my mind. But there's this overarching theme I feel God stirring in me. Something He's really pressing into my heart.
I started this study by praying and asking God to show me He's trustworthy. That He's truly loving and kind, and that His word holds true in my soul. Which in turn, I prayed, would make me more confident in my approach of the Bible, in talking with people about His word. Going through Genesis, Exodus, Numbers, Deuteronomy, Joshua, Ruth… I'm slowly learning, and more importantly, trusting in this Word. So here's this theme again:
Every. Single. Time. HE provided. Sometimes they fully trusted (Abraham with Isaac, Noah with the Ark, Moses' whole journey to the Promised Land, Joshua marching with his people around Jericho), and sometimes they didn't and there were consequences (Lot's wife, Moses disobeying and not getting to go into the promised land after all that time, basically the entire history of the Israelites yo-yo relationship with God) but He provides for His people.
I've been in this period of time with God where I keep asking Him when certain things will happen for me. And you KNOW good and well you've probably asked Him those things too. When will I get to write for a living? Earn an income for the things I feel like you've gifted me in (my own selfish knot rise up in my flesh right there for some honesty), when will I get to take these business ventures, on and on and on. And when I (I won't say we for your conviction's sake ;) ) don't see things happening on my timeline, I [we] start to scramble to just MAKE THINGS HAPPEN, because, well, God isn't working on my schedule daggumit. That scramble is out of distrust. I'm not trusting that God will provide for His will. Just like Sarah wasn't trusting that God was going to give her a baby like Abraham said He would, so she scrambled and had him sleep with her maidservant (hey Ishmael). The Israelites chose not to trust that God would provide the promised land and had to wander around for 40 years as a consequence.
It's super easy to not see it as distrust. To see it from the standpoint of being "proactive". But let's just call it what we know it is. I believe things are not always instantaneous, and somethings take work on our part. But "when the grass withers and the flowers fall, the WORD of our God stands FOREVER" (Isaiah 40:8).
So back to that overarching theme. Provision.
Every time, provision. The Bible is this beautifully woven story that rings boldly true that He will, and does, provide. With Abraham's son, with a chunk of land He said He'd take His people of slavery and into, with the biggest and most beautiful gift of all time HIS OWN SON JESUS to take the place of our sickening sin which separates us from Him. He provides.
You may be thinking, but why? Why does He do that? And it is so dang simple.
Because He loves us. And He is always always always good. To show us we can TRUST Him. We can TRUST He is going to do what He said He would do.
Because, HE loved US first.
Man that felt good to get out.