these past couple of weeks have been rough for me. i've spent so much time in the word, and praying over what i want Him to show and change in me. being pregnant this time around has changed me more than i expected. it's been HARD, y'all. by the end of the day i am straight worn slap out. and blake often jokes with the kids that mommy clocks out around 9. ha! it's sadly true.. i'm no good after 9. i don't say all of this for pity, but to make a point instead.
i am exhausted, i am weak. yet, i keep putting my hope and faith in my own abilities, in my own doing. i know what He tells me, yet i keep choosing me. it is a battle for sure. and it is a battle that Christ did not die for me to fight. i'm crucifying him all over again by living in do it myself mode. if i'm not putting my faith in him, what am i putting my faith in?
i've been re-reading through "glimpses of grace" again and this passage really stuck out to me:
"we should frequently ask ourselves (and ask our friends to ask us as well), is your role or identity as a homemaker the object of your affections? do you lose your cool when that identity is threatened? do you serve your image of a good mother? "
my identity is in christ, not the things he's given me or the influence i feel he's growing in me. when i put my identity or faith, in anything other than him, my days won't look right. my attitude is going to suffer, my patience will dwindle.
we've had so much good family time lately. blake and i spend a lot of time with other people, and we love it! but it's so nice to just get time with the 4 of us. and seeing blake as a dad makes me fall even more in love with him. and seeing his patience and forgiveness when pregnancy hormones attack and i'm a blubbering mess, makes me see christ in him even brighter. here are some pictures from our day at my parent's house and valentine's day!
we strapped wyatt to the seat in the kayak and blake rode him around the driveway! he loved it!
see that cuh-yoot t shirt wyatt is wearing? it's from honey bee tees and we have a growing collection! i'm obsessed.
emma learning how to ride a bike!