Tuesday, September 16, 2014

To the women who don't fit

To the women who don't "fit"

I see you.
You may dress a little different, parent a little different, befriend the different.
I see you.
You may sit in the back row, sit in the front, maybe even smack dab in the middle and feel alone.
I see you.

You may feel like the "church people" will never get you or look past where you've been.

There is isolation amidst community. And here's a secret.
It has more to do with you than it does with them.

One of my most favorite souls once told me, and she probably doesn't even remember, that God honors perseverance. It was just a small comment thrown in a much larger conversation but it has stuck with me for years.

I have beat myself up for years about all the things I haven't done right. And honestly, I've let others beat me up about it too. I've let satan sneak lies into my heart about how they judge me and my relationship with Jesus because it looks different than theirs. Because it's messier than theirs. But those are lies. And satan wants to weaken you. He wants to block you off from community. He does not want you to persevere. He wants you to quit people, because they don't get you.

A lie is a lie is a lie.
You are not alone. You are not the only one who hears or feels those things. The irony is that's the whole purpose of community. To push past the appearances and get to the hearts of the people. Where they are, what they struggle with. Peaks and valleys. 

It's uncomfortable. You won't like it at first. You'll feel that lump in your throat that wants to push out tears just when someone says hello.

Don't let the fear (or even the reality, in my case) of not fitting "in" keep you from joining in. You matter. Your heart matters. Your story matters.

So even though you feel alone in a church full of people. Even if you don't seem to squeeze into that cookie cutter no matter how hard you try. Join in. 

I see you.
And more importantly, so does He.
And He gets the glory every time you show up. He uses the tiniest things in us for your story. He romances through those insecurities. He makes us whole. 

So just show up, and let Jesus do the rest.


  1. This spoke to my heart so loud, thank you. I messed up last year with some people at Church and have felt pushed out and judged ever since. I loved my Church and felt like I had to leave but something told me to stay, to stick it out. Things are going a little smoother now, though I still have days when I interrupt looks and glances badly. The girls are starting up a netball league so I'm throwing myself in there and I hope I can make some friends again

    1. I can absolutely relate. My story is a bit different as my husband worked for our church and he felt called out of it and left abruptly. Well needless to say that rubbed people the wrong way and instead of people seeing that we were having a hard time, they isolated us and I have struggled with bitterness since. I also wanted to leave but have never felt a peace about it. I can slowly start seeing how God is working in it though :) we shall continue to be obedient even if it is uncomfortable.

    2. Both of your words mean the world to me! Praying for you ladies! Thank you for commenting :)

  2. Thank you for these loving and encouraging words Hannah