han does healthy

So first I'd like to throw out a formal apology to the internet. One of my best friends sent me a picture after my post and it said "I think I ovary acted" which is probably the best thing I have seen. Lotta truth there, folks.

Anyways, I'm learning that the problems and frustrations I have with the internet are often rooting from some unresolved feelings I've held back from the Lord. It's not about everyone else. So I'm back to staying in my own lane. SWERVE. (miiiight have just lost all of my 3 followers. it's cool)

My favorite thing about staying in my own lane? Room for improvement. If you follow me on instgram (@aquiverfullblog), you've probably seen my hashtag #handoeshealthy. I started it a little over a year ago maybe? It was a little way of tracking my milestones/changes. I want to do some longer Han Does Healthy posts here, for more in depth stuff like freedom from body image issues, easy healthy recipes, workouts I'm doing, etc. Mainly as a way of keeping myself accountable and seeing my progress.

My friend Courtney (@lifeashappycampers) asked me to help her out with a faith and fitness challenge this month. She gave me some shakeology (I'm hooked) and I'm doing t25. It's been tough but 25 minutes a day and workout complete? SOLD. Here's a fun recipe that I tried today! Let me just say.... DELICIOUS. Obviously I used chocolate chips because I didn't have dried cranberries (judge me), and I used soy milk and peanut butter instead of almond milk and almond butter. I could eat the whole batch... but I won't. That's poor stewardship ;)

Happy healthy thursday!

grace + peace,
han

Catch up and goals for 2016

I didn't realize how long I've neglected writing until just now! In full disclosure, I'm honestly not too terribly sure where I'm wanting to go with blogging anymore. I'm in a bit of a spat with the internet. I LOVE blogs. And instagram. I really really do. I just want everyday life to be celebrated a bit more. I want to see "perfect" people post grainy, non-curated photos just because it's one that makes them happy. I want to see more people celebrating their lives for what they are, not just for being hip or fancy. I, personally, really just want all of this for myself. I want to care less about what the internet might think or do. I want to be so content with the season God has me in. I want all aspects of my 2016 to feel worshipful. Maybe come January I'll write something about that. Who knows. Not me that's for dang sure.

So obviously I'm in a weird place. I'm just trying to lean in to the Lord and listen to where He wants me.

To catch up a little bit, I posted about The Gather Project last, and I am so proud (but not prideful) to say that we have had TWO gatherings since that post! I love that the women have coined the phrase calling them gatherings. It blesses me big time. The first one was in October, and when I tell you it was beautiful...my words could never do it justice. I truly feel like God blessed us with as much a piece of heaven as you can have on Earth. When I think about the sound of all those women's voices singing praise, it gives me chills. So then we got to do another one in December. It's just been such a huge honor for God to let us do this in our area. It will never get old! December was a hard month for me and Jesus. We've moved, which happened to be the week of The Gather Project. Terrible timing. Not sparing any shame, I truthfully just wasn't in the Word like I like to be. So my attitude and all-around life really reflected that. It was a tough month, and I'm looking forward to a fresh start. I had started, and put on hold, the Open Your Bible study by She Reads Truth (pretty ironic huh?). I'm really excited to pick that back up!

My prayers for 2016 are these:
Contentment- I just want to be thankful and at peace with where I am. I've written that a bunch, and I feel like I'm not wanting for more, I just love to stay in a place of gratitude. (Colossians 3:15-17)
Focus- I feel called to my husband and children before I'm called to serve elsewhere, and sometimes I get that mixed up a bit because everyday life doesn't always seem like service as much as it seems like necessity. But I want to focus on loving my family and serving them biblically and lovingly as much as God allows in 2016.
Gentleness- Bless. Just typing that I'm thinking "Lord are you sure You put gentleness on my prayer list?!" But alas, He did. I feel like I severely lack in gentleness. And those shortcomings are evident in my relationships. I'm not entirely sure how to be more gentle in speech and attitude? But I do know that My Father never lets me down when He calls me up to something. He provides every single time. (1 Peter 3:4)

I feel super thankful for all God has done for me and my family in 2015. It was a year of freedom for me! Which is really cool to see since I prayed for that at the beginning of the year! I want to hem into His Spirit more and more. I want to teach my children what it looks like to love Jesus and live without fear. I got see God give me a huge vision AND fulfill it! Here's to trusting Him to do abundantly more with this next year!



grace+peace,
han

some random thoughts for your tuesday

There happens to be a crap ton (yes i just internet-ed that) of randomness swirling around in my head, so what better place to dispose of them than my blog?! I'll preface all of them with…you're welcome. ;)

FIRST.

How is this the last week of august??? whaaaaaa. I love fall, because sweaters and jeans. But I have so enjoyed my summer with the kids. We've really gotten in a groove of just being together and adventuring every now and then, so I'll be sad to see it end when Emma goes back to school.

But even if it stays in the low 80's with this breeze, I'm good.

NEXT.

I really miss having a house. Just throwing that tiny bit of pity out there. Praying God works on my contentment issues.

We finished our Naptime Diaries Abide study and it was the jam. such a breath of fresh air! Now our women's ministry at church is about to start Breaking Free by my favorite woman, Beth Moore. SO looking forward to it!

Wyatt seems so grown to me lately. He's talking about all the things all the time. Someone else talking about all the thing all the time, to no exaggeration….Emma. BLESS. She also turned FOUR last week. I'm preparing that sappy post. Warn your tear ducts.

Hattie is teething fiercely and it's making her sick. Absolutely pitiful. Teething is of satan. It's got to be.

LASTLY.

The Gather Project is a total legitimate thing now. The date is october 8th. If you're reading this and planning on coming, PLEASE comment. I would really love to know! We have been in such deep prayer over this whole deal. And I struggle daily/hourly with whether or not I feel equipped to handle this. I'm leaning in so hard to Jesus and trusting it's all of Him. Nothing of me but my yes on the table. We have such good friends who have signed on to help and serve and pray in any way. I cannot even begin to describe how incredible it's been to see God orchestrate all of this.

Hope your Tuesday is not ruined by my ramblings!

the gather project

This is super nerve wracking to post because it's becoming more real with each passing day and moment.

About a year ago, I prayed a big prayer. I asked God to clarify His purpose in me, for me, and my words. I told Him I wanted to see Him do something big in me and know it was from Him. This blog has been a huge answer to that. But even bigger than this, I feel like God has called me to women. Whatever that is going to look like in the future, I don't know.. But right now he has given me clear vision for our area.

From what I've noticed across social media, bible study groups, and even in my own friend groups, is that women want and strongly desire community. To be heard, feel known, and grown deeper. A relationship with Jesus is the first step in that direction. But what next? I believe discipleship and community are the follow up. To be encouraged by women who are alongside you in circumstance AND faith. To be mentored by women who have walked those same paths before you. Enter, God.

The gather project is exactly that. The idea is for a (eventually) monthly meet up for women of our area (west Atlanta) to gather, dwell, and abide in Christ. Worship, fellowship, and encouragement for women who desire to know God deeper. Like an intimate conversation in the coziest of places in your home, surrounded by women who love Jesus and desperately want to make Him known.

If you're reading this, and you're in our area, you're probably thinking "isn't that like the grove at passion city?" my answer is... I don't know. I've never been to a grove service other than the summer party. But I'm cool with it being similar. Because our west Georgia area could benefit from women worshipping alongside women whom they run into at the grocery store, or on campus, or at church. We're praying for a unity of women from local churches to come together expectant on what God is going to bring to the table.

So don't be afraid to pray for the big stuff. He is good in all things. We aren't called to produce the fruit, we're called to abide and bear the fruit. I am so excited to see this season of saying yes to God and I'm praying you'll join me in support! Whether that's prayer, volunteering, giving, or being a part of this event! I love hearing that women are encouraged by real and honest biblical perspective. So lets get on a team, ladies.

"and let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near"
hebrews 10:24-25




ROAR. and amen.

Also, any of my wonderful internet friends who are super talented...HELP in our logo struggle. The chalkboard image, but prettier. Comment or email me if you can be of assistance! Seriously, please. It's for Jesus ;)

it is for freedom

At the beginning of this year, I prayed for a purpose. Not anything super specific, but just that I would witness God move big, so big that I would know that it could only be Him. And also, I prayed for freedom.

God has done both. And it's July.

I'll wait on telling about the big things, because what I really want to talk about is freedom. God has pressed into me hard this year to abide. Abide in HIM because without Him, nothing happens. Lives don't get changed, roots don't grow deeper, vines don't bear fruits of the Holy Spirit. John 15:2 says "He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit, he prunes so that it will be more fruitful". And lately, I have found such freedom in that.

I've been doing Jess Connolly's Naptime Diaries, Abide, study. And i jotted something down last week that has been sinking in deeper and deeper. It is absolutely not about us, or what we'll gain, or what we'll become. It's about God and the characteristics He portrays. To me, that speaks loads into my issues with freedom. Jesus does not say try harder. He simply says, rest here. I have laid down my struggles before The Lord, my body insecurities, my anxiety over persecution and failure and fear, my need to be heard, all of that has bound me in my walk with Christ. Because we all tend to think we have to try harder. Be more kind, be more patient with our children, be more loving towards our husbands, be more gentle. And the freedom in Jesus and salvation is, we don't produce those fruit! We are just called to bear it and be the branches. By staying deep in God's word, we rest. Rest in knowing we don't have to have it all together. We don't have to be more. We can't. The world cannot make you more patient, or a better person. There is so much peace in who I am right now because Jesus has made my yoke so light.

I, by nature, am a wary person. I don't usually just jump hard into things. But lately, I've felt God calling me to surrender. Just a gentle whisper that says "jump! I got you!" But I'm like, God…You know I like to wade out. Not jump. So I have cannonballed into freedom. Not caring what it looks like to other people. Freedom to be who God has called me to be, and what God has called me to do. I got made fun of recently because I sort of, kind of, want a van. Y'all. I'm 24. With 3 kids. And I want a van. But I don't care! It is what it is ;) haterz gonna hate. I really enjoy working out. And I wish I could make it more of a priority, but I go when I can and that's a couple times a week. I look nothing like the girls I work out with AND THAT IS OKAY. I struggled for a little while because I would compare myself and that is such a slippery slope. So I got real with God and asked Him to speak purpose into me. To free my heart in ways I haven't even thought of. And He sure enough did.

After a season of hardship in my heart, it feels so beautiful to be at rest. To know it's not my struggle. to be able to say YES GOD. And Him take care.

What's holding you back from freedom in Christ? Let us not be afraid to get real with God. Because He is big enough to handle our breakdowns. And sure enough is the only one ho can put us back together.

Best Job Ever

Mother's Day is here! And I wanted to take just a moment to say what every woman should hear and say on this day.

YOU. ARE. DOING. GOOD. WORK.

You heard that right? Because you really are. I truly believe every woman who has ever invested and cared for another person of younger life experience needs to hear that. I have known women who have never carried a baby in their own womb, but because they shared the deepest parts of their hearts, to me they have mothered. And they should be celebrated. 

I will be the first to tell you, that being a mom is hard-stinking-work. So just for one day, let's all put aside the mom war opinions and look at another woman and say straight into their souls, "sister, you have loved and you are so loved. I'm thankful for you. Happy Mother's Day!"

I believe in the hard, ugly parts of motherhood. Those times where you secretly (and sometimes not so secretly) just want a durn moment to be by yourself and finish a thought. Those times you want to finish unloading the dishwasher without some crazy kid climbing in and licking a freshly washed spoon. Those times where you tell your toddler "NO MORE TALKING." I can't be the only one right? Those times are hard. They don't always show the best parts of our attitudes, but they're important. Why? Because grace. Grace is the glorious realm where all parents dwell. It is the place where Christ holds us and whispers (sometimes shouts) "you cannot do this without Me." It is where I am humbled to repentance and used as an example right in front of my own children. And not long after always comes the sweet forgiveness from tiny faces with pure hearts. They invite me to cuddle, or ask to be held, or sneak in a kiss as they hurry by to play..and that's where the beauty is. On the other side of the hard stuff, which you might miss completely if you aren't careful. That kind of love makes me weepy, yall. Like putty in the hands of my babies.

Loving anyone is hard. Probably because we cannot control other people the way we'd like to. But whether you have loved a 3 week old, a 13 year old, or a 30 year old, I believe you have mothered in some way or another. There will always be hard parts. There will always be mom guilt. I have had 3 kids in 3 years and I have been told a different way was best each time. You cannot please everyone. And luckily you don't have to. I want to be the mom speaking life into the women entering this sweet season of motherhood. Not the one at the baby shower freaking out the new mom-to-be with horror stories of labor and up all night misery, or the you should blah blah blah or you aren't giving your baby the best... I try to tell all of my mama friends this: Your baby won't know any better than you do. You are learning together. Love them well, serve them well. Ask forgiveness when you know you need to. 

At the end of the day, you have done the best you could. You are awesome! You're doing a great job, sister! Whether with your baby, your niece you're helping take care of, or as a foster or adopted mother, you are making a difference! Your influence is a blessing. Be a builder, not a bulldozer. 

This Mother's Day, tell another mama (preferably one who may do things differently than you) that you love them and how they love their babies. Trust me when I say that women need to hear that from other women. And I think it blesses God's heart to see us encourage one another. 

So. Happy Mother's Day to all you ladies who have spoken life into a young person. You are impactful! You are so beautiful and so perfect for your babies! Swim in His grace today and every day. Kiss your babies, and squeeze them tight, because the responsibility might be hard, but it truly is the best job ever.

Little Ladd Adventure!

So this weekend we took our littles camping for the first time! Blake and I love being outside and trying fun things together, and since we're inching in on the one year mark for Hattie, I felt like we could brave camping! So we packed up and headed out Friday night! My parents came to visit and so did Blake's. Hattie has been suffering from a sinus infection so she went back home to sleep with my parents ;) and Emma heard that Blake's parents were staying at a nearby hotel so they could come back the next day, so she begged to stay there. Basically, Wyatt, Blake, and I camped and the others just visited during the day! Ha!

We honestly had so much fun. The kids got to go fishing with their very own poles (which they promptly broke so we rigged them up to let them feel like they were really fishing). We kayaked and Wyatt crashed out there with Blake after like five minutes. It was so cute. That bubba is boy after his daddy's own heart. They love the outdoors and water. 

I got to spend a lot of precious one on one time with Emma and it felt so good to my soul! She is so caring and thoughtful, and funny! Gosh that girl is so funny. I taught her how to skip rocks and she braved the water to her knees with NO FLOATIE! I couldn't believe it! I was so proud. 

I got to finally try out some smores with Reese's! Best thing ever. You have to try it. It's not so much a part of #handoeshealthy but I couldn't pass it up. I'm back on track this week.

We straight wore them out this weekend! They were EXHAUSTED by the time we loaded up. I barely made it to the exit of the campground before they passed out in the back! And our dog, Callie, in my passenger seat was conked out too. 

I'm so glad we decided to try this! And even though 2 of them kinda chickened out on the over night, next time they'll do it! It was so much fun and such a blessing to get to spend good time with our family!