here's the thing about fear. it truly has he power to cripple you. to make you feel weak, unworthy, like your words don't matter. fear creeps in to your confidence, the things you think you could do, and magnifies all of the what-ifs until the possibility or chance you wanted to take becomes so overwhelmed by anxiety of failure that it is no longer an option.
i am the type of person who wants to be good at something the first time i try it. do you realize how unrealistic that is? it also gives fear the biggest crack to settle in. but here is what God tells me about fear:
"there is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear" 1 john 4:16
ultimately the love of God and his grace through Christ lives within me, squashing out any trace of fear. God tells me that i am enough, because he is more than. and he lives in me, in my choices, in my ideas.
i have been praying for quite a while now to be used in some form of way as an encouragement, for others to see God in my life through the little things that i see him in. i feel that he is slowly but surely unveiling his plan for me.
as blake and i sat at dinner saturday evening, just us two, i shared with him what i had been holding in about what i felt God was leading me to. all of the things i firmly believe God was lining up lately to show me where he wants me. i shared my deepest fears of failure. and as he sat and listened, i noticed the look on his face. not so much a "look" as much as it was the smirk. then he shared that all of the things i was telling him, were things that he had been praying for me. talents he saw within me, my strengths that he thought i downplayed, he prayed that i would notice and find confidence in. he was so encouraging, and in my husband's typical fashion...brutally honest. but he wasn't mean in the slightest. sometimes we need the person we love the most to tell us the things we're afraid to hear so it is addressed and we can grow. God sure did know what he was doing when he gave me blake. i am forever grateful.
so, here is to an improved and meaningful blog!
this is what i feel God is breathing into me. through his word, i have found purpose. and i want whoever reads this to feel that!
"children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from Him. like arrows in the hand of a warrior are children born in one's youth. blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. they will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court."
our quiver is full! and i am so excited to do life with y'all!